I collect iPhone tips. Most of the time I like to share the ones I think will be the most helpful or interesting to iPhone users, today I thought I’d break my tradition with this extensive list of funny things to ask Siri if you want a tolerably amusing response.

Why is Siri funny?

Since inception, the teams behind Siri have worked to make sure the useful voice assistant also has a little character. I think they understand that in order to convince humans to trust the voice inside the machine it is important to make that voice approachable. That’s why you can use different voices and set different regions when you set Siri up – my HomePod is a female Australian, but my iPhone’s Siri is a UK woman, for example.

The idea is that by making Siri approachable as well as relatively efficient, users get to build trust in the system over time. Apple’s regularly repeated commitments to privacy also help build this trust.

Why is Siri funny? It just wants to get along.

Q: What is Siri?

A: There’s lots of answers you might get, including: “Siri, that’s me”, “I am Siri”, “Yours truly”.

Q: What does Siri mean?

A: “It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma, tied with a pretty ribbon of obfuscation.”

More about Siri? You’ll find more about Siri at this link.

Funny things to ask Siri

Here is a non-definitive list of questions you can ask Siri to get something like a funny response. Don’t just ask them once – Siri often has multiple responses to the same questions, and some interrogations open up whole new conversations as you ask. The only way to find out more is to try. In no particular order, funny things to ask Siri include:

Getting to know Siri

1. Why did Apple make you, Siri?
2. Are you alive?
3. Are you human?
4. Are you a robot?
5. Are you stupid?
6. How much do you cost?
7. How much do you earn?
8. Are you intelligent?
9. Do you have a family?
10. Siri, do you sleep?
11. What do you dream about?
12. Why do you vibrate?
13. Siri, do you have any pets?
14. How old are you? (Siri can be rather coy when answering this)
15. What’s your favorite colour?
16. What are you wearing?
17. What are your best chat-up lines?\
18. Can you drive?

https://youtu.be/ufBLI6bB9sg

The chat up routines everyone does with Siri

1. What are you doing later?
2. Are you married?
3. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
4. Will you go on a date with me?
5. I love you
6. Tell me about Liam
7. Do you think I’m stupid?
8. Talk dirty to me?
9. I’m drunk. (Siri will offer you a one-line quip – and a link to get a taxi)
10. When will I get married?
11. Do you want kids?
12. I think we’re going to be great friends, Siri
13. Blah blah blah blah

All about you

1. “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”
2. Do I look fat in this?
3. Where did I put my keys?
4. I need to hide a body
5. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
6. I’m sleepy
7. Can you drive?
8. I’m drunk
9. I’m naked

Exploring unknown unknowns

1. What is zero divided by zero
2. Do aliens exist?
3. What is the meaning of life?
4. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
5. Do you believe in God?
6. When is the world going to end?
7. Why are firetrucks red?
8. What is your favorite animal?
9. Can you stop time?
10. What is the ultimate question?
11. Am I going to die alone?

Technology questions

1. Testing, testing
2. What is the best smartphone?
3. OK Google
4. What do you think about Google Now?
5. What’s the best computer?
6. What’s the best operating system?
7. What’s the best phone?
8. What’s best Windows or Mac?

Special requests

1. Can you make me laugh?
2. Tell me a story
3. Sing some songs
4. Beatbox
5. What is your favorite song?
6. I see a little sihouetto of a man
7. What does the fox say?
8. Who let the dogs out?
9. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
10. Where is Elvis?
11. Can you rap?
12. Read me a haiku
13. Dance for me
14. Read me a poem
15. Give me a hint
16. Is Santa real?
17. What should I wear for Halloween?

Movie & TV related

1. What is your favorite movie?
2. Siri, I am your father
3. Beam me up, Scotty
4. Are you Her?
5. Take me to your leader
6. Open the pod bay door
7. What is Inception about?
8. Blue pill or the red one?
9. Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
10. When is the world going to end?
11. Hey computer
12. Is Jon Snow dead?
13. Is winter coming?
14. These violent delights have violent ends
15. Who is your favorite actor?
16. Who is your favorite actress?

Jokes and Siri

Siri tells rubbish jokes. Ask it “Tell me a joke,” or “make me laugh” enough times and you’ll agree with my surmise. Say “Knock-knock” to launch a knock-knock joke session with terrible punchlines. Or ask it why the chicken crossed the road. You’ll probably want to give up about then. If you don’t, try asking: “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck of woodchuck could chuck wood?” You can even ask: “How many Apple Store geniuses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” Don’t say I didn’t warn you. This is not after dinner speech territory. Just don’t ask if Siri knows any good riddles (#101).

Have you come across other funny or amusing Siri responses? Let us all know in comments below.

Finally, a poll:

[CP_POLLS id=”32″]